


Kanamit Feasting of Humans

by ToServeManfan



Category: Archie Comics, Archie Comics & Related Fandoms, Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Gen, Short Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:53:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26667772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToServeManfan/pseuds/ToServeManfan





	Kanamit Feasting of Humans

What was the eventual end of Humanity itself? What was the true purpose of Humanity? Was it to succeed? Or was it to simply end up killing each other in endless war and terror? We had always wondered the answer to that question, and we had always wondered what would eventually happen to us as a Race. Would we ever be the top dogs in the entire universe? Or would we simply be what we were, the loneliest intelligent race in the wide, wide world.  
How could one ever, ever start understanding, and realizing, the truth of the intricacies of the universe? How could we ever comprehend that there was something out there, something so powerful, something so different than us that we couldn’t do anything else but fear it and attempt to ignore it and call it off as fiction. Well, what if fiction became reality? What if the world was nothing else but a lie?  
A lie told to serve their purposes than ours?  
To understand this, I will start from saying about what happened when the great Android revolution  
began, and I don’t mean the Phone OS one, I mean the Robotic Android one.

Humans, appearing about as much skin and bones as the next one, but were simply made of metals and wires. Androids, who, we thought that was our build, that it was something that we had made, specifically for humanity as a whole to prosper, to improve, to become something that was much better than anything else in the world. However, we were wrong, terribly, terribly wrong.  
It was never about us. It was never meant to be about us. It was always meant to be about Them. Them and their needs. Their desires. Their purpose.  
The answer to that question, the one single question plaguing all our minds for so long was in front of us, right in front of our faces, that we simply forgot to look at it. For us, it was simple enough to blame the technological boom and marvel that made it possible for us to make such androids, that made it possible for us to actually realize that we were on top. We never looked at the potential bigger picture.  
The puppeteer behind the curtains, controlling everything. And to think that all of it, that all of this entire mess that we were in started with something as simple and as tasty as burgers was laughable.  
And yet, there it was. The truth, the utter, uber truth. It all started with burgers.

As the biggest, most delicious fast-food item that the people of America, and basically the whole world in general, it was obvious none of us saw coming. For us, it was simply going to the restaurant, and then order this one Burger that would fill our stomachs and make us feel the amazing aftertaste of the juicy patty, the melted cheese and all the other sauces and toppings on there.  
Let them be Vegetarian Burgers or Non-Vegetarian ones, everyone liked Burgers. Everyone did. They simply found burgers to be too good, and too impressive to be able to ignore. They were, after-all, what all of us had as a staple of fast food, if there was a staple in fast food at all. I personally remember me and my friends going over to the Burger-Joint and ordering my Bacon-Wrapped Chicken burger.

A burger that had such a juicy, chicken filled patty, cooked to perfection over a grill. The juices would ooze out of the succulent skin of the bird, thoroughly sizzling and cooking the oil or butter fried Patty. The soft charring of the Chicken Patty then would give it even more taste, more so than it already had, while the Cheese, yellow American Cheddar, would just melt over it, covering the meat with it’s delicious and amazing flavor. The 3 pieces of Crispy Hot Bacon would taste even better, completely changing the taste of the normal Chicken burger, with 3 large flaps of Iced-Lettuce placed over it. Alongside the special sauce, a delectable mixture of Mayo, Ketchup and some spices. That would make the burger into something magical.  
Only, however, when the chain ‘Serve Burgers’, having the cheesy motto ‘To Serve Burgers’, a rip-off of it’s own name, opened up, I didn’t expect it to start off so well. People would stand in massive queues just to get a hand on those burgers, and I had to admit, I didn’t see the charm in them myself. However when I and the rest of my family got a chance to try the ‘Serve Burger’ special, a Hamburger with simple fries and Ketchum beside it, I realized I had found heaven.

I didn’t know what the strange sauce was at first, when I got my first ‘Serve Hamburger’. For me, it looked like any other burger ever. It was a nice, large, thick patty burger with a Brioche Bun, containing Lettuce, Tomatoes, Jalapenos, Caramelized Onions, Cheese and Spicy Mayo. However, when I took the first bite of it, it simply lost myself to the explosion of taste. That is how I came to realize that there was an absolutely beautiful sauce that was coating the patty, a glaze of sorts that I had never had in any burger that I had eaten before. It was so perfect, so mouth watering that I couldn’t help but eat more and more bigger bites with each small bite I took of my burger.  
And that is when I should have realized something was horribly, horribly wrong.

For no burger should make a human feel ‘dear god, this is my oxygen’ and have an almost fatal need to have it again, especially when it came to a Burger. For no burger should taste like what that did, and now that I realized, the taste of the sauce was simply too revolting.  
I should have run, when I had the chance. Run, hide and pray. That is what I should have done. But the minute the Serve Burger went inside of my mouth, my life was just done with. Over, finished.  
And that is what brought us to today.  
The fattening happened the day after the Serve Burgers started. We did not know at then that it was  
something much worse than what it was.  
The glazing on the burgers was the root of all this. That one foreign taste that we simply couldn’t understand, nor realize, but loved so much that we accepted it as simply as it came. Why would we not? It was just food, and food had never lead us astray. It never had, and it never would. That is until very suddenly it did lead us Astray, it lead us onto something far, far worse than simple obesity.  
And it was very, very funny that obesity was what it actually lead us to, just not in the way that we expected. See, burgers were.....absolutely delicious. Just a single bite of them would probably light up any man’s day, the best comfort food that I’ve ever had in my entire life, infact. However, the simple taste of burgers, alone, was not enough to complete the plan like they did. It just wasn’t.

Humanity was not that compromised to food as one would think. There was always something known as self-control and limited indulgence. Humans were not that gone, and yet, however, what had happened was just that. The Serve burgers made us humans lose our ability to control and took away our ability to have a firm will. The more burgers we ate, the more our mental state was compromised, and with each and every single bite of a burger we had....well it only got worser and worser. It got horrifying, simply put, to think of doing anything other than having Serve Burgers. And we were slaves to it.  
It started with our mental abilities being seriously hampered by the burgers. The juices of it was changing us, making us feel as if we couldn’t live without them. The calories inside of the burgers went beyond whatever one could ever hope of having, and the sheer weight of it would attract even the most pickiest of all the eaters. They were made in such ways that every single time you had one, you only came back again for more and more.  
And as you ate more and more, you got more and more weight in you, and that would fatten you up. And not exactly the ‘good fat’ either. It would be the bad fat, the worst kind of fat that one could imagine.

Humans would walk into ‘Serve Burgers’ in massive lines, big, massive ones. They would sit down, and then they would eat. And that was more horrifying than seeing monsters eat things because by the god, that man eating the burger felt as if he hadn’t seen food for at least 8 months, or even a whole year!  
Then they would stuff their faces full of it. Full of the burgers, full of the fat that they were being served. I had seen, within a span of 5 days, my friends turning from a slim and trim body-builder esque, athlete into something far, far bigger, something far larger than that. The way he ate, it still gave me nightmares. Utter nightmares of horror, fear and terror. Things that would travel through my back and way up my spine.  
He had taken one large, giant burger in his hand, and gulped the whole thing down. Thre was no mercy shown, and no thoughts sent out to the poor animal that was slaughtered to make that Patty. He just ate it in one, single go, not even chewing. The sauce and the juices spewed out of the side of his mouth, dribbled onto his shirt. A good shirt, I’d say. It was much better than anything else that he had ever worn, and I had to point out to him that he was spilling things out of his mouth.

His response was to grab his next burger and slurp it down as messily as he had done the first one. Once again, it was as if he was a starving bloodhound, one that had never eaten food for quite some long time. He had a wild glint in his eyes, as if he was about to jump on top of something and then wrestle with it. Like the look of a wolf that had just spotted his meal, yes, that was the word I was looking for. And he did jump on it with such ferocious intensity and conquered the food as if it was a mountain that had to be climbed. His way of eating made me sick, to the very stomach. At then, I was actually new to ‘Serve Burgers’, because wherever I looked, wherever I turned, whatever I spotted, all I saw was people stuffing their face full of burgers just like how my friend had.  
And then I went out to the joint with my family for the first time.  
I was very surprised my father even agreed to come to a place like this. He was heavily against things like this, and my brother Jughead simply couldn’t help but love it. He was a literal jughead at times, I swear. How could someone eat so much fat wrapped inside of a single bun? Cheese, sauces, meat, everything that I should avoid was inside of the bun.  
And what was more suspicious were the people that were running the joint. They looked normal, they looked as if they were happy to serve us and watch us eat like that, and how did we not see the suspicion in that?

How did I not see the suspicion at the creepily smiling waiters and waitresses of the ‘Serve Burgers’ whenever they spotted us stuff our faces full of burgers and come back again and again to have some more? How?  
I didn’t know how the burgers were made, I had no idea how they even were started from, but all I knew was that there was something going on in this world, something was very, very wrong here and this ‘Serve Burgers’ was in the root of it.  
Unfortunately, I was far too late to realize that because the damage had already happened. It had started from way within, way, way within the roots and the bodies of the people. The burgers had really dug deep into our DNA and had given us some strange urge, this utter desperate need to keep on eating them, again and again.

And that would make us fat. Fat and lazy. That would change our brains from active to inactive, and from something like what humanity was supposed to be, to something worse. Much worse. Something so horrible that I didn’t even know from where to begin. I knew, that when I first found out about it, I was horrified. I was terrified of what the world was going through, and I was utterly shocked at what was happening. But there was nothing I could do. I had eaten too many of those things to even have the thoughts required to fight the eventual fate that awaited me and the rest of my family. Because the truth was.....  
The truth was.....  
The truth was that the entire franchise ‘Serve Burgers’ was not made by humans, and nor was it maintained by them. It was made and maintained by androids, androids that we thought were made by us humans, however, they were not. The creators of those androids simply appeared human, but they were not human. They were not human at all.  
No human would program androids to work in burger-joints making burgers for us to eat. No programmer would make a software program that would make the android smile creepily whenever a single person came back to eat more and more of the same thing. No human would program androids to keep on serving a single person more and more food. If anything, androids would be used to prevent that from happening. AI were difficult to fool, infact, they were nigh-on impossible to fool. And they could be easily used for ‘weight control’.  
But these Androids were doing the opposite of that. They wanted us humans to keep on eating burgers and they wanted us to be fat.

They wanted us to start losing what made us better than the rest of the life living on this planet, our intelligence and our ability to evolve and adapt. They wanted us like fat, useless drones, like what we expected pigs to be like. Pigs, after-all, had only one use, and that was to turn into Bacon or Pork when the animal in question was nice, fat and big. How funny it was that these Androids were doing the very same with us humans.  
Because when we had been invited into the Feast, I had seen the Cooper Family, fattened like we were, completely dressed up in all manners of spices and other condiments, about to be baked in the oven. All of them, Harold ‘Hal’ Cooper, fattened and laughing, Alice Susanna Cooper, literally waiting to be eaten, Elizabeth ‘Betty’ Cooper, actually crying because she wasn’t taken to them and finally Polly Cooper, silent and eagerly awaiting his gift, not knowing what was to happen.  
And my family was the next in line. I was the next in line.  
  
My family was strange. Then again, considering exactly what my parents had gone through to get to a level where I and my brother would be alive, and what I was, it was obvious that our family would be strange. Regardless of all that, I still loved them, at least till a certain level.  
So, let’s start with me. My name is Jellybean Jones. I know, strange name, but it is what it is. I rather like it. I am....quite the quirky individual. I simply do what I have to, to get through everything that I need to. Then again, that’s the motto of the Jones Family.  
My father, what an absolute asshole that guy is, was FP Jones, or Forysthe Pendelton Jones II. His entire life was spent in doing things that he shouldn’t, and that is why I had such a shitty childhood. I should say I’m glad that I did, I never would have liked Pink Floyd or Black Sabbath that way. Running all those con-scams with my mother when I was younger was what lead me to be the head of the Southern Serpents.

My mother, on the other hand, was a biker through and through. I’d say she rather liked me, but then again our relationship was strange even if she did like me. I couldn’t imagine life without her especially after Daddy dearest was fired and he started to waste hard-earned money on drinking over and over again. Oh yes, I knew it very well as to what awaited me if I didn’t get to a level of security. I’m glad I don’t have to worry about that now. Her name was Gladys, and she was the reason why I lived for so long.  
Finally was brother dearest, Jughead Jones. Yes, Jughead. Strange name, I know, and it had nothing to do with the flaws that he had. Provided, he could have done a lot better in life if he didn’t want to actually do better, Jughead, no matter how many flaws he had, was still my brother, and I’d say I loved him as such. Not as much as ‘I’ll sacrifice my life for you’ kind but ‘yeah I can tolerate you’ kind. I was the littlest of the entire group, and I rather liked that position. It did shift all the potential pressure and weight off my shoulders as a child because all aspirations were already upon Jugheads.  
Perhaps that is why he overindulged upon the Hamburgers. Hmm.

So, where were we? Oh yes, just yesterday, my dad gave us the invitation that he got to visit the Kanamit Mansion, where they were currently staying, for the autumn feast.  
I had to say, these Kanamit really, really played a smart game. Coming out of nowhere and introducing the Androids to the world, making us believe they were the epitome of what the humans could get as, only to have no information at all about those humans. You see, all that I’ve done so far, all that I’ve gone through so far, I realized that it was all a game. A big, a massive game.  
A game orchestrated by the Alien Race called Kanamit.  
They were....strange. I didn’t know anything about them because as of this moment, I am realizing the utter, horrifying truth that they had weaved into such a big lie I couldn’t help but inwardly be impressed.

The Androids were never meant to serve us, they were meant to serve them. Being technologically advanced(because we didn’t even detect a ship landing on the planet even with today’s technology, let alone figure out that they were actually making a plan like this), they had inserted human androids that looked and behaved like us humans so well we could never even detect them. I won’t be surprised if the androids that were ‘serving’ the masters of the mansion as I ponder this pass a metal-detection test.

Were they even made of Metal? Or some other Alien compound? I didn’t know, and I generally didn’t even want to know. Why would I? I was currently facing my imminent death, I was more worried about how I got to this point, rather than how they managed to get me to this point.  
So, the androids the Kanamit made, they were sent out into the open world, to slowly dissolve into human society, and somehow destroy any and all suspicions the humans would have about Androids. I remembered as they were released, the Androids were treated as something else entirely, and various countries even made it compulsory for Androids to be kept in a specialized Government enclosed area. But the ‘double-agents’ had slowly worked into the hearts of society, and that plan had to be left because no government wanted their entire population against it. And, after the Androids were settled into society(not even a year after release), they started this company called ‘Serve Burgers’.

People were excited that the Androids were doing this. For them, not having to work on Minimum Wage Jobs was basically a godsent miracle. It would open up various top-levelled jobs, where humans could slowly progress further, and the Androids could handle the lower levelled things that they were meant to handle. That was the reason behind their creation and purchase. And so, humanity welcomed the Serve Hamburgers with wide, open arms, and so had I. I had thought what would a single burger to do me? How much damage could one hamburger do?  
Well, the answer was simple. It could do a lot of damage if I simply couldn’t stop eating it, could I? Whatever this sauce the burgers were using, whatever they were using to make the meat of the burger, us humans simply couldn’t get enough of it. We wanted more...and more....and more....and more of them.  
And the task of the Androids was to keep on making more of them. They were to make sure that humans would be able to do nothing but eat these burgers, and that is it. I had seen the kitchens, I now knew how these burgers were made.  
And the main ingredient, the star of the show, the apple of the eye of the burgers, and all of the food that the Kanamit ate, were humans themselves.

I had seen a fattened neighbour of mine laughing as the androids that the Kanamit had made slaughtered her, slowly hacking into her legs and her hands. I had seen them scoop out the insides of her stomach with a massive scoop, removing guts and intestines, spoonfulls of it, and then dump it inside of a large water-bowl to be cleaned. Once it was cleaned, it would then be put inside of a mixture, where they would add all types of other ingredients, making it a lot more spicy, and then they would stuff that soup, that sauce that was made back inside of the skin, flesh and bones of the human that they had extracted it out from, and then they would grill the human.

Skin which was once pale would be thoroughly charred. A face that would attract most men was now meant to only attract those ravaging monsters, hungry for all manner of flesh and blood, to eat them, and most of all was the stench. It was revolting. And I had no problems with it.  
Why would I? The minute I had digested my first Hamburger that the Double-Agent Androids had made, I was a choice. A big choice, right up on the top. I had first come there with my family, and we got discount offers after discount offers, and we couldn’t ignore it not only because it was cheap, but also because the burgers were too addictive. The glaze inhibited the central module of our brains, stopped our thought processes, turned off our synapses and basically started to control us. Made us into drones. Anything that we felt or did for personal satisfaction or benefit was slowly turning, changing into something far, far more different.

Something worse.  
We were losing control of ourselves. Our major thought processes were dying out, and were being replaced by the order ‘eat, eat, eat’. I, and my family, all of us got fatter and fatter as we kept on eating the burgers, and now, when our skin was so thick and so utterly filled with meat, we had reached ‘harvest season’, if you could say.  
So we were put on the list, given an invitation to the great Kanamit Autumn feast. Now, our family in Riverdale was known for one thing, and that was the business of the underworld. We ran gangs, we did all manner of wrong things to make ends meet, why would a royal family want to meet us?  
We were excited, and so was I. I personally thought that perhaps, we were going to see a change in our fate, that we no longer would have to struggle to just live by.  
Well, I was right. And I was wrong, at the same time. Right because we would no longer need to struggle to live by. Wrong because we were going to be killed, gutted, cooked and eaten.  
The Kanamit Royal family was big.

At least 20 people. And all of them had hungry, almost volatile looks in their eyes. I don’t know why they look like humans, to tell you the truth. Perhaps an illusion of sorts? A way to make them appear human? I know, for sure, that they aren’t humans. A human cannot be so hungry when looking at other humans.  
My father and mother were the fattest amongst us. At 45 years old, FP and Gladys were excited to come here, really excited, and they were the ones that had overindulged on the burgers the most. Their entire life was meant to be about struggle, struggle and more struggle, so of course they would be happy about what was happening. The burgers had completely made them a drone.  
And the truth was revealed the minute the head of the Kanamit royal family sat down on the head table. I was kept off to the side, as ‘desert’, to tell you the truth. That is what the Android told me. Meanwhile, 3 large, massive platters were lowered onto the massive table where the Royal Family was currently about to start the feast.

And inside of the said platters were my mother, father and brother. They were happy, eyes wide and filled with utter joy at the ‘honor’ that they were getting. I don’t even think that they realize what is about to happen, I didn’t either until I was told I was desert. I honestly thought we were going to be feasting with the Royal Family. It turns out, we are the feast for the Royal Family.  
The Head of the family took the first pick, his hands gutting out my father’s eyeballs. His rather large, forked tongue came out, and sucked the fluid around the eyeballs dry, and he bit half of it off, slathers of optic fluid falling down onto the table. The head Kanamit chewed thoughtfully, and nodded.  
“My compliments, to the chefs.” The large man spoke in a rather strange accent, before his other hand clicked a far too sharp spoon onto a literal goblet of thick, syrupy red wine, which I realized wasn’t wine, but blood. “Let the feast commence.”  
And all 20 Kanamit dug into my family, as if they were rabid hounds, starving for food. They clawed upon the fattened skin of Gladys, and she didn’t even scream as massive chunks of it were torn off her.

One of the Kanamit ripped her ribs out, blood splattering out of her still beating heart, which another Kanamit claimed for himself, speaking to his kin about how ‘still beating hearts had the best taste’. I noticed one of the androids slowly cutting Jughead up, from leg to head, into small pieces, and the worst part of it was he was still alive when his entire legs were cut off and then hauled upon a massive open barbeque, where the legs were grilled and sacued and then served on top of bread and served to their masters.

My father was feasted upon by the Head alone. He didn’t even bother with a spoon. All he did was grab my father’s head, and opened his mouth far too wide, and for a brief second I spotted a tint of reptilian green skin and sharp teeth before half of the head vanished inside of the Kanamit’s mouth. Then he crunched down, brain-matter and blood splattering out of the splinters created by the crunch.  
My father’s half-eaten head lolled down onto the plate for a brief moment, before the Head of the Kanamits completed his ‘feast’ and ate the rest of the head, leaving my father’s decapacitated body on the table. He nodded, allowing the others around him to have their fill, and they didn’t even bother with spoons and knives. They just dug in, pulling and grabbing whatever meaty part they could find, and then snacked upon it like I would on pretzels when I had a chance to do so.

Fatty meat that covered us quickly was consumed, leaving organs behind which they also ate as fast as they had finished off the meat. The burgers, perhaps, did a great job in making us fatty and meaty, and I could see the approval in their eyes as I finally was dragged up on the table and then put inside of a bowl full of....Ice Cream. The Head Kanamit looked at me, and nodded, and then stabbed me right in the neck, blood seeping out and covering the Ice-Cream with it, making a desert out of me.  
Even as they started hacking of pieces of my fattened body and scoops of Ice-Cream, I couldn’t help but look straight at you.  
You, who are sitting there, waiting for your burgers to be served at the Serve Burger Inns.  
“You should be lucky that you still have your free will.” I say to you, looking at the man and the woman that are thoroughly ravaging the burgers placed upon the plate. “I can see you, stuffing your face full of it. If you manage to control, if you manage to not eat the burgers and get fattened for a feast, perhaps you won’t end up with a similar fate like my family did?”  
That is my last message to you, those are my last words to you. But then I realized what I was saying, and I frowned and nodded.  
“And do I regret this fate?” I ask of you, of everyone, as the knife slowly comes down upon my neck to be served to the Head Kanamit. “No, I do not. Which is why....perhaps you should stop?”  
And that was the last thing Jellybean Jones could say and think. For she was also eaten by the Kanamit.  
And they would continue to do so, one human at a time, through one burger sold at a time. Funny how much food control could have helped in saving humanity.  
But it was too late now.  
For we were already in their trap. And our fate now was to be a feast for the Kanamit.  
The End.


End file.
